Arnold Layne had a strange hobby...

When I wrote up the plot to my game design PDF for Neo-Testament, I got a ton of flack from my teachers because of the religious overtones I penned for the story. Essentially, I wrote about how man wanted to achieve divinity but in the process triggered an accident that caused the deaths of half the human population and then blamed it on God. And in this smear campaign and absence of God, man decided to self-proclaim itself as their own God. Now man is being led by a group of men who are working on trying to artificially achieve godhood through a life form they uncovered at the heart of the near extinction of humans. Few know of the truth and are trying to expose it, which is the central conflict. I also named my characters and places and other stuff after religious things, like Christian, Magdalene, and the villian Pilate, which I suppose didn’t help my cause. 

Now, I didn’t sit there and think to myself, oh my God, this is gunna be awesome if this happens and that happens. I’m not that kind of writer that thinks I write amazing shit. But if you look at it, what I wrote is a very simple “save the day” story. Really. There’s nothing you haven’t already heard before in what I wrote. But I hid the simple premise of the man vs evil group concept behind the context of religion. I’ve always enjoyed writing like that. using references to certain things to help make your story and your characters. It doesn’t necessarily make my writing better, but it does make it more interesting. I mean, would you be as captivated had the villian be named “Bob”? Or the main hero called “Mitch”? Probably not. Not within the scope and scale of the plot. The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources. Everything has already been done; every story has been told. But what you can do differently is how you present it. Without the religious connotations, the plot would have been very boring. It’s essentially a war story. A bunch of people rebelling against an evil group. Boring. But add in some Jesus, and presto, now I’m cooking with Crisco. 

I reflect on this because I kind of don’t want, but am fully expecting, to have to answer to those same accusations with the new story I wrote for The Midnight Carnival, which deals with a serial killer murdering children and a detective who has become desperate enough to catch him that he risks the well being of his only daughter to do so. Drugs are involved as well as disturbing imagery. It’s worth a ponder because I fear that this is going to lead, for the sake of example, down a path where no one will probably want to work with me or associate themselves to the stuff I write. And that will obviously have to bring up the question, should I change it up? And I don’t want to do that. I don’t think any of you would want to resort to that. And if you would, then mayhaps I’m not fully comprehending how this works. Won’t be the first time.

We’re artists; our art, whatever it may be, and what we see and hear and our desire to express it, that’s all we have. It’s all we have. You just can’t shrug off what you already have for something you would like to get down the road (like money for most people). Because what you do it for actually speaks volumes as what you do. An artist will do it for less or no money. Just ask any busker or street performer. Someone who does it just for money, I don’t consider what you make to be art, but more like a product. Something given monetary value, meant to be consumed. And don’t tell me that it’s a foolish way of seeing it; established bands such as Radiohead and Nine Inch Nails have challenged how the system works by offering their art at a price named by the listener and at times, for free. So it’s been done before and both bands are still around. That’s what I personally consider to be a real artist. 

If you just wanted to make money, then be a lawyer. Be a doctor. Be a professional athlete. You can still make art if you like doing it, but it sounds like it would be more of a hobby than a career for you. I believe there’s got to be more to it than that. I firmly believe in that. There’s always alternatives. The world is far too big and filled with many more like-minded people than you care to admit for you to be forced to change who you are for one or ten people who don’t agree (don’t agree, not necessarily not liking) with it. Cope with it, not mope about it, and move on and find someone who does. I’ve been told no numerous times, sometimes just the silent treatment, in regards to my ideas and writing. Oh well, y’know? 

I’ve always felt I had a crazy and vivid imagination. But, allow me to dispel the rumors, especially some of you who perceive me to be a certain way. I’m not a button pusher. I don’t aim to be controversial for the sake of being controversial. I didn’t write about religion or now a serial killer who murders kids because I thought it was “cool”. In fact, I’ll be the first to tell you that murder is not awesome. I’m doing it so that you’ll stop and notice in the hopes of consideration and conversation. If i can make you think, then I’ve done my job. There’s too much “playing it safe”, which leads to mediocrity. And that’s why all the art we see in these mediums are the way they are in these modern days. Where’s the classical sculptures and paintings? Where’s the concept albums? I’m sure there are artists out there making these things; they’re just not being given a chance or you don’t notice them because they aren’t marketable or profitable. It’s always the art you are unaware of that ends up being the best kind, and the best kind that runs its course and ceases to exist without even being noticed. I don’t need to tell you of how many countless indie bands whose amazing musicianship couldn’t prevent them from disbanding, and tragically at times, stop making music because of that. 

Bringing it back home, for those concerned about my state of mind, I don’t just write about controversial things. I’ve dabbled in comedy and satire back in high school. I can write action and adventure, and for awhile now, wait for it, romance. Dun-dun-dun. Yes, love. I’ve been writing love subplots since like high school, but figured that high school wasn’t really the platform to come out with that content. I was young then and like everyone else, worried about my image and how I would be percieved. So I kept it to myself and saved them up. Few years later now, I don’t care about that anymore. I don’t really care how I’m looked at. I care about what you see in what I make. I feel the difference between me in high school and college in the context to what I wrote about was that I got experience far more in college. I had my eyes opened to people, different people who lead different lives and come from different backgrounds, to help my perception of my own life be that much clearer than the collective, hive mind, clique-y nature of high school. High school was a bubble, and college and the people I met and experiences I had popped that bubble. Simple as that. 

Three other stories I’m working on, lo ho and behold are not controversial. One of them, I’ve publically posted on here (Rockstar), is a far cry from what you all think I’m capable of. I don’t think it has to do with the fact that you haven’t seen it, because I’m obviously letting you know of it now, but more so to do with the notion that accepting it is another story. Rockstar,starXcrossed, and Shooting Star all have themes of love in them. And Rockstar is actually the one I want to be made above everything else I’ve done. Rest assured, Alain Balano is not a crazy person looking for cheap thrills and cheap shots because I think it’s funny and the cool thing to do. 

In closing, don’t worry so much about how the artist looks or talks. These aspects are representatives of his or her individuality, which is hard to come by these days. Instead, look at the art itself. Judge the art for what it’s worth, not the artist who made it. People are too concerned on both ends; how they look, how they talk and whether or not this is something they want to attach their name to for fear of misrepresentation. There should be no fear or hesitation in art. How do you expect to push the envelope, the boundaries, if you are afraid? If it looks good, you’ll see it. If it sounds good, you’ll hear it. If it’s marketed right, you’ll buy it. But if it’s real, you’ll feel it. And that’s the most important one. Stop looking, stop listening, and just feel it. That’s when art does what it’s supposed to do and stimulate an emotion in you. 

So please don’t tell me you are who you are and that’s all you are, but then impose that I should change who I am for you to be able to accept who I am. Remember, there’s a distinct difference between making a sacrifice and making a compromise. A sacrifice means you give UP something for the greater good. A compromise means you gave IN to something less than what you wanted. That being said, why the hell would you want to compromise? If anything, make as many sacrifces as you can. Whatever opinions you have of who I am at the moment is the sacrifice I’m paying for. Infamous sake-binge drinker? I guess. Not good at planning ahead? Whatever. Unrealistic? Coolbeans. If that’s the first impression I made on you, then cool. It’s up to me to change that if you’re willing to look past it and accept it. Let me make an expressionnow with my work. And hopefully the art will speak for itself and define me.

Always sacrifice, never compromise.

:)